16 and insecure about the way my vulva looks

im 16 and have never done anything past making out with a guy. i think it’s because im really insecure about the way my vulva looks. my labia minora are longer and can be seen from the front and when i open my legs they are even more visible and i hate the way they look. i have been researching it loads and most guys say they prefer when its all neat and tucked away. from reading this blog i realise im not the only one that looks this way but im still scared as most boys my age have only seen the vulvas in porn and i feel like they wont think im normal or will be disgusted or freaked out. i wish that boys could be shown what most vulvas look like in sex education at school or that big labia were shown in porn. i have even considered a labiaplasty because i really hate how insecure it makes me. i am really confident about my appearance apart from this and i really need help in how to not be so insecure and how embarrassed it makes me.

I’m so happy that the Labia Project has helped you to realize that you are not alone in experiencing these insecurities.

You are still at an age where you are learning about your own body and your sexuality, and you should not be in a hurry to get intimate with a guy. It is a big step, and you should take it when you meet the right guy, and more importantly, when you have reached a point where you are comfortable with your own body. Opening up about your insecurities through your submission was the first big step in your journey towards reaching that point, and I am so proud of you for taking that step.

Many women with similar insecurities to yours, find it helpful to spend time self-exploring with a mirror – the vulva is an amazing organ and no two are alike. When you have some privacy and are not under time-pressures, take a mirror and take a good look at your vulva. Do this daily. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and unique (because you are).

Also, be careful of believing everything that you read on the internet about what guys’ preferences are when it comes to vulvas. There is a lot of misinformation on the internet, and what you read will often not represent the views and preferences of the average guy.

You correctly mention that sex-ed does not do enough to educate guys and girls about what is normal. Sex-ed is a golden opportunity to shape young peoples’ perceptions of what is normal, and sadly, that opportunity is usually not put to good use. That’s one of the major reasons the Labia Project exists – to spread education about what is normal, to break down stereotypes, and to celebrate the beauty of variety in womens’ labia.

Clare xo

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