Category Archives: Blog

Making Peace with our Yonis

Jane Steckbeck, Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach

“Yoni: The Sanskrit word for female genitals. Translates to “source of all life” or “sacred space.”” Urban Dictionary

“When you own yourself sensually, everything is open to you. You awaken more feeling in your whole being, experience the joy that is available to you simply because you’re a woman. If you are sensually aware…you are more confident and you enjoy your life more.” Regena Thomashuer, “Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts.”

In our times, very few girls are taught to know and value their sensuality, sexuality and capacity to experience pleasure. Even worse, our religions and popular culture train most girls and women to think there is something wrong with their yonis: they are ugly, or “dirty” or “look funny” and smell bad. Very few girls are taught to use the terms “vulva” “vagina” or “yoni” and instead are taught cutesy slang terms like “hoo hoo,” “vajayjay” “yaya”—or worse, the vague and ominous “down there.” The terms our crude pop culture assigns the lovely yoni are even worse—not worthy of mention here.

With very little exception, most women arrive at adulthood somewhere between outright disgust to benign ambivalence about their yonis. When we hold shame for any part of ourselves, we become separated from our wholeness, our vitality, and our potency. As important, we unwittingly allow others to determine how we feel about something as deeply personal as our own bodies and sensual expression. How can we possibly allow ourselves to revel in the fullness of our sexual power and sensuality when we despise the very source of our pleasure?

I challenge you to confront how you think and feel about your yoni, to identify thoughts and feelings you’ve accepted as your own—that may come from relatives, mother culture, social/mass media—sources outside yourself. I am going to ask you to consciously clear out all thoughts and feelings that do not originate with you and mindfully adopt new thoughts and feelings about your yoni. As long as you hold beliefs that your yoni is ugly, dirty, smelly, misshapen—you will compromise your ability to reclaim and value the fullness of your pleasure and feminine power.

Thus, I ask: How do you think and feel about your yoni? Before you attempt to answer this question, first ask: “How have others taught me to think and feel about my yoni?” (Recognize that if you have negative thoughts and feelings about yonis in general, you have them about your own!) Include messages from parents, relatives, religions, and mass media/pop culture. Make a list of thoughts and feelings you’ve collected from others. Then ask: “Where have I accepted others’ beliefs about my yoni that may not be my beliefs?” Place a check mark by thoughts and feelings you have that may not be yours. Then ask: “Can I put aside the thoughts and feelings of others about my yoni? And finally, “Without anyone else’s input, how do I think and feel about my yoni?” More on how to do this in my next post!

The longer I have worked coaching women in reclaiming empowered sexuality, the more I have grown fierce about identifying and rejecting negative input about women’s bodies—especially our yonis—the very seat of life and exquisite pleasure. From my personal perspective, there is not a person on this earth whose opinion I value above my own when it comes to my yoni or any other aspect of my sexuality. And I choose to treasure me—just as I am.

I invite you to join me on this journey of fierce self-acceptance—and adamant rejection of negative cultural messaging in all its forms, especially as applied to women and women’s sexuality.

For many, this will be challenging. You may feel upset, confused and unsure.  You might not like your yoni at all. Understand this: the weight of generations of negative input about all aspects of women’s bodies can be hard to overcome. I can assure you, the effort to make peace with your yoni is worth it. Isn’t it time we—each of us—claimed our inherent beauty and perfection just as we are?

Introducing Jane Steckbeck

Introducing Jane Steckbeck…

Introducing Jane Steckbeck

I am delighted to be supporting Clare’s potent work with the Labia Project. When she asked me to participate as a guest writer and commentator, it was an easy “yes” because the Labia Project helps women accept themselves as they are. In my work as a Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach, I focus on women’s sexual empowerment—and self-acceptance is integral to empowerment and often something missing in women’s lives.  Yet, there is only one person on this earth who can grant you self-acceptance: you. That the Labia Project helps women in this process makes it something well worth my time to support.

A little bit more about me. I became a Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach after a ten-year sexual healing process, where I consciously healed from the effects of childhood sex abuse. When the dust settled I began to realize that women are profoundly disconnected from themselves sexually due to a toxic culture that marginalizes women’s pleasure, our bodies, and tells us that we are in so many ways “less than.” I decided that I wanted to help women to recognize inaccurate cultural messaging and to reclaim their sexuality on their own terms so they could experience the fullness of embodied pleasure, passion and personal power. I’ve learned over the years that the healthier a woman is sexually, the more she accepts herself, the more powerful and confident she is in all areas of her life.

Thanks for reading my posts. I look forward to hearing about more women claiming their empowered sexuality and loving their labias—and entire bodies—just as they are.

Donate to Help the Labia Project

I run the Labia Project because I am passionate about the cause and about spreading the message of labia diversity and body acceptance.

Keeping the project going takes up a lot of my time, but I am happy to give of my time freely as I believe in this cause. The Large Labia Project has helped thousands of women around the world to come to terms with their insecurities, and will hopefully continue to do so for many years to come.

However, running the project comes with expenses such as domain costs, web hosting fees, and the cost of developing and running special features such as the Vulva Art Project. I am therefore appealing for assistance through donations to help keep the site going and growing from strength to strength. All donations, however big or small, are a huge help.

To make a donation, please click on the donate button below. Donations are anonymous, and can be made securely using PayPal funds, any credit card, and most bank cards. There is also the option of making a once-off donation or a recurring monthly donation.

Labia Jewellery – Model makes a labia necklace

labia jewelleryTracy Kiss, a 28 year old British model, has made a pendant for a necklace out of a piece of her labia which was removed during labiaplasty surgery. While many women pierce their labia or adorn their vulvas by “vajazzling”, this must be the most unusual form of labia jewellery out there!

Tracy underwent labiaplasty surgery as a result of pain and irritation that she was experiencing on a daily basis from her labia, which eventually led to a cyst being formed.

Instead of discarding the tissue that had been removed during the procedure, Tracy asked her surgeon to keep it for her. She later turned it into a one-of-a-kind necklace as a way to deal with the trauma that the experience had caused.

While the labia tissue had turned grey after removal due to the surgical fluid, Tracy brightened it up by covering it with glitter. She now wears the necklace daily.

Tracy made this video of the process of creating this most unusual piece of jewellery…

Video of labiaplasty surgery

Watch this video of labiaplasty surgery featuring the personal journey of Lyndsay, a 19 year old labiaplasty patient in the UK. Lyndsay struggled for years with the insecurities that millions of women go through regarding the appearance of their vulvas, and she ultimately went through with the surgery.

At the end of the video, Lyndsey gets interviewed after the surgery has been completed, and she says that she feels a lot happier about her body and is pleased that she went through with the procedure.

There are, however, many women who experience regrets after undergoing the surgery, and labiaplasty stories do not always have fairytale endings. This site also features posts by women with deep regrets about getting a labiaplasty.

I aim to present a balanced picture on this site which is why I include content about the success stories as well as the horror stories.

Warning: the video features some graphic images of labiaplasty surgery taking place.

Is there such thing as a pretty vagina?

This satirical video highlights the misinformation among women which has resulted in the idea that women should aspire to have a “pretty vagina”.

The skewed the perception among women of what a normal, healthy vagina should looks like, has resulted in unfounded insecurities and an increase in unnecessary and sometimes harmful cosmetic procedures such as labiaplasty surgery.

Share your story, experience or pictures

This blog is driven by submissions from women who would like to share their stories, experiences and pictures.

Many women who have decided to share their submissions on this blog, have found it to be an empowering experience which has helped them to embrace their uniqueness and come to terms with their body-issues.

Please send your submissions to

All submissions are treated with the strictest confidence, and I will never publish names or other identifying information with any post.

New protections on the site

I have implemented new protections to prevent any content from being copied from this site and published elsewhere.

Visitors to the site are now unable to right click or double-click on images and other content to make copies of it. If they attempt to do so, the message “Content is protected!!” comes up and no copies can be made.

I also have a strict policy against disclosing any names or other personal information of submitters in any content published on the site.

This is all part of making the site a safe space for women to share their stories and photos with other women, and spread the important message that this site is aimed at spreading.

Your vagina is more beautiful than you think

layla martin30-something Layla Martin is widely considered to be a sex expert. Watch her video above, entitled “Your vagina is more beautiful than you think”. The video features a photo shoot that she arranged with a group of women to capture the difference between how they saw their own vulvas and how their lover saw their vulvas.

The best part for me was to see the reaction of the men. We are so hard on ourselves as women, and the reaction of the men in the video shows that there truly are mature and sensitive men out there who see the beauty in the uniqueness of their lovers, and who are not superficial and over-critical assholes.

Clare xo