Depressed about my vagina

Hi I’m [name edited out – I never publish names of submitters] I’m 16 and I hate my vagina so much it makes me feel sick just looking at myself in the mirror about 2 years now I’ve noticed my large labia and clitoral hood i am honestly so depressed about my vagina I recently went to see my local doctor with my mum who knows how I feel about my vagina the doctor said it was average length so I then tried another doctor I then had to see another doctor who said it was normal and their is nothing they can do about it on the nhs after that I had a second opinion who also said it was normal and if I did get my labia cut off then I would still have a cliteral hood and it would look right, me and my mum can’t afford to go private as it is around 3 grand my mum says I will have to wait till I’m 18 and refuses to talk about it anymore but it’s all I think about everyday my mum is blessed with a barbie vagina me not so much I’m at the age where I’m now one off the only girls in my age group who haven’t done stuff with boys yet but I’m too scared off doing stuff with a boy and them turning me down because off my large labia or telling my friends I have a “sloppy vagina” or “beef curtains” it’s not just boys who talk about it the girls do aswell I heard girls talking about this girl and saying she had a ugly massive beefy vagina I’ve honestly got to the point where I feel so depressed about my vagina I’m questioning cutting them off with scissors it’s that bad, I judge myself everyday and hate my body I can deal with that but I’m so scared off being judged by someone else it honestly has me in tears I just don’t know what to do any advice.

Thank you for being brave enough to open up about your insecurities regarding your vulva.

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that if two medical professionals have expressed the view that your vulva is normal, it probably is. They are experts when it comes to the human anatomy, and they have seen many vaginas in their line of work. They would be able to tell you if there was anything abnormal about your vagina.

The bad news is that being assured that you are normal is not a solution to your insecurities, and will not make them magically disappear. Overcoming insecurities is a long and difficult journey, and one in which you need support and understanding.

It’s a pity that your mum refuses to talk to you about this issue anymore, as having a support structure and someone like a close family member to confide in regarding your insecurities is very important. You are welcome to write to me anytime you want to talk about your insecurities. I promise to listen to your concerns without judgment, and to do my best to provide you with support and understanding.

I suggest that you start your journey towards self-acceptance by using this technique to develop a more positive relationship with your vulva.

Clare xo

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