To all the girls with labia shame – it gets better

To all the girls who feel labia shame or ashamed of the way their vulva looks, I was like you before. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my large labia minora. But now I love my vulva. When I was younger, I used to visit blogs like this to try to boost my confidence. I promised myself I’d get labiaplasty surgery once I turned 18. I went to camp and saw my friends vulvas and I couldn’t understand why mine didn’t look like theirs. I was terrified that a boy would see mine and be repulsed because it didn’t look like many porn vaginas at that time. When I was 16, I had my first serious boyfriend and was extremely nervous about what he would think of my body. I dreaded the first time we had oral sex. To my surprise, he always complimented my vulva and body. It built my confidence, helped me overcome my labia shame and made me realize that all vulvas truly are different and beautiful! I’m 24 now and have been intimate with 30+ people — both women and men. I am extremely sex positive and also teach sex education. I can tell you with complete honesty, that nobody ever insulted or made a rude comment about my labia. In fact, I was often complimented! When I was younger I used to tell myself that if someone is seeing my vagina they’ll consider themselves lucky and not judge the appearance. Honestly, this idea turned to be true lol! I’ve seen my fair share of vulvas and penises and they are all different and wonderful! My best friend and I have looked closely at each other’s vulvas in a platonic way. She has very small labia and a clitoris that can barely be seen, while mine is prominent! We like different types of vibrators and orgasm from different types of clitoral stimulation. Despite these differences, we have both had happy and healthy sex lives. I look back at my teens and feel silly for ever wanting labiaplasty. The before and after photos I used to yearn for now make my stomach turn. Yes, there may be medical reasons and a person’s choice for surgery is their own and I respect that — but it was not the path for me. I am so thankful for the body I have, I am healthy and have wonderful orgasms and feel comfortable exploring my body. I stumbled across this blog and wanted to share my story. I see a lot of posts that remind me of where my mind was many years ago. The appearance of your vulva won’t impact your sex life or scare anyone away. What is more important is your comfort, consent, safety, and communication. You’re all beautiful, remember that 🙂

What a wonderful message! Thank you for sharing 🙂

Clare xo

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