I’m 17 and my vagina is embarrassing, it seriously makes me so insecure to the point where I cry and it leads to me wanting to cut it off myself literally. It protrudes and my clitoral hood is extremely excessive and there are little ugly bumps on my labia minora. the biggest thing that gets to me is when the guy I’m with and I are ready to do sexual things I’m worried he will be off put by it, I do not think he would be rude or mean at all just uncomfortable and it’s just upsetting. Guys my age make so much fun of longer labias and have mean names for them and mine are about 10x worse than the ones they make comments about. It’s like I know pornstars created an image that smaller vulvas are the most popular but from what I’ve heard from literally every guy and girl that have talked ab vaginas around me that they’ve usually only experienced small pretty ones and if not they were absolutely disgusted. I wanna see my gyno and talk to her about a possible labia plasty but I couldn’t afford it and I don’t know if my parents would help. It’s not that I think labias like mine should be negatively looked on but for me at least it sets me back from so much like being comfortable in clothes, wearing swimsuits, playing sports bc spandex shorts show my labia, being confident enough to engage in intimate things with my boyfriend, or even just be confident with my self alone. It grosses me out and I’m literally a young virgin and I just envy girls with pretty vaginas who don’t have to worry about these things because no matter how much research I do and find out mine are normal it makes my heart hurt and upset that my vagina looks the way it does. Thank you for listening it took a lot to finally open up <3.
I’m so proud of you for opening up. I know its not easy to do so, and by doing so, you have just taken a huge step towards dealing with your insecurities.
The first thing I need to tell you is that you are not alone. The Labia Project exists because millions of women experience insecurities when it comes to their labia. This is a safe space for them to talk about their issues and get (or share) advice. The ultimate aim is to normalize what is, in fact, completely normal.
Any guy who is lucky enough to get intimate with you is unlikely to be put off by your labia. He will probably be thrilled that he is in that situation with you, which will overshadow everything else. If he does have negative or judgmental thoughts about you, that will be because he is either misinformed or an asshole or both.
I hope that with time, you are able to build your confidence. While labiaplasty surgery is the right choice for some women, it’s a procedure that is far too easily resorted to. Please view it as a measure of last resort, and try to first overcome your insecurities internally. That’s not an easy process, but it can be done. Many women who make submissions here, share stories about how they were extremely insecure, and have managed to get over their insecurities.
As a starting point, you may want to try out the technique described in this post to get to know your body better and begin the road towards accepting and embracing it.
Please also feel free to write to me anytime you want to vent or share.