My Pussy, My Choice: Vagina-Themed Fashion Line by Namilia

Namilia, a Berlin-based fashion brand made up of the duo Nan Li and Emilia Pfohl, launched a Spring / Summer 2018 vagina-themed fashion line at New York Fashion Week. It features unusual and eye-catching pieces, many of which are embellished with images or designs depicting vulvas.

The risque line was inspired The Indiscreet Jewels, a novel first published anonymously in 1748. It portrays Louis XV as the sultan Mangogul of the Congo who owns a magic ring that makes women’s genitals (“jewels”) talk.

The fashion line is bold and unapologetic, and the message that it portrays, in a celebration of female empowerment and womanhood, is: “I can be whatever, I can wear whatever and I can do whatever I want to”. 

Check out this video of the fashion line being worn by models at New York Fashion Week…

What do you think of the message on which the fashion line is based? Would you be bold enough to wear some of these pieces from the vagina-themed fashion line out in public?

Link between spinning and labiaplasty surgery?

I came across an article on the Huffington Post which suggests that there is a correlation between the increased popularity in spinning and labiaplasty surgery. The article quotes a US plastic surgeon who says that he has experienced an increased demand for the procedure by women who experience discomfort from spinning, cycling and other physical exercises.

The submissions that I receive on the Labia Project also reveal that many women consider undergoing labiaplasty surgery in order to reduce discomfort caused by physical exercises.

While undergoing the surgery is ultimately a matter of personal choice, I don’t advise undergoing surgery except as a last resort. The procedure is irreversible, often does not meet womens’ expectations, and can lead to regrets later in life. A decision to undergo the procedure should therefore not be taken lightly, and should be taken after extensive research and self-reflection.

There are ways to manage and reduce labia discomfort caused by physical activities. Padded underwear / shorts and emollients (moisturizers) can assist in reducing chafing and discomfort. My reply to this submission contains some additional tips for reducing labia discomfort.

Sluttiness doesn’t stretch the labia

sluttiness doesn't stretch the labia20yo, American of yugoslavian ethinicity. 20+ partners, only to prove that sluttiness doesn’t stretch the labia. Ever since I started growing pubic hair at 13, I maintained a fully hairless vulva via shaving or Brazilian waxing. Now I’m finally comfortable with my natural hair coverage. I’m not writing off waxes, but when I do them now it’ll be if and only if it’s something I really want.

Thank you for sharing your story and picture 🙂

After a few years of it being fashionable to maintain a fully hairless vulva, it’s becoming increasingly common for women to allow their pubic hair to grow out. While many women still believe that it is more hygienic to remove all of their pubic hair (which is a myth), at the end of the day, the important thing is for you to do what what feels good to you, and for you to be comfortable with how you maintain your pubic area.

Clare xo

Self conscious about my vagina

self conscious about my vagina wrinkly labia large labia and clitoral hoodSo I’m 20 and I’ve always been so so so self conscious about my vagina, I’ve had boyfriends but have always found a way to cover it whilst we’re having sex although they didn’t mind it they didn’t really say anything to reassure me. Until recently I met the most amazing boy who loves me for me and has actually told me he loves it and especially because it’s a part of me. He’s also acknowledged the stigma of ‘bigger’ being bad and shot it down. It doesn’t mean that at all if anything it’s something to play with and can be beautiful. I honestly never thought I’d ever feel comfortable about my vagina with a man but I’ve never felt more loved for me but I finally don’t have a problem and wanted to share my stories with other girls too:) were all different and if they don’t love you for you then you’re with the wrong person! Xxx

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story and pictures. It sounds like your current partner is a keeper!

You, and all women out there, deserve to be with someone who is supportive and who loves the uniqueness that is you 🙂

Clare xo

My labia minora hangs down 3cm

Okay, so im 18 years old and i would just like to share my story with my labia and how i grew to love it. I honestly did not know much about female parts, i always knew my vagina looked different to vaginas you see on porn. My labia minora hangs down 3cm its very wrinkly and i have hated it. I started hating it when i realised it was different, i used to see all the jokes people made about it on the internet and ive even heard some girls in real life talk about how they are glad they dont have one. I’ve always hidden my vagina and for that reason alone i had learnt to hate my body. All my friends would have sex and try new things with their boyfriends and i could never allow anyone to go near it, i hated my vagina with every little cell in my body. I learnt more about vaginas and i came across this page a while ago and it definitely did help to know im not alone. I was still planning on having surgery but i could not afford it, i even contemplated snipping the labia off myself. I researched many ways it was possible to get hold of the money but since im 18 and unemployed i did not have much luck. Here is when i started to love it, so i have been with my boyfriend about 9 months now and we recently started to get intimate. I wanted to take things further and so did he, i was always embarrassed but i started off slowly to see if he would react in a bad way but he didnt. The first thing i let him do was go inside my underwear and play with my vagina, it was so scary but i was determined to face my fears. He did not mind it one bit, he played with it for quite a long time and he did not seem bothered one bit, he did not mention it and if im honest i don’t think it even came across his mind. Couple of months later, after i got a bit more confident, while we were being intimate, this was the first time we had gotten this intimate, he pulled my panties to the side and i kid you not but he went down on me. That raised my confidence so much but i was still not entirely confident with my vagina so i told him to stop. Even after this, i kid you not, he told me he liked my vagina.

The message i am trying to get across here girls is no matter what shape or form our vagina is, a male does not care. Especially if the male loves you, he will love your vagina as much as he loves you and if he doesnt just tell him he has a small dick. After 3 years of despising my vagina i learnt that everything i was so terrified off and running away from was all inside my head. Embrace your vagina, there is nothing wrong with you! You’re so special and you should be glad youre different.

Thank you for sharing your story.

It’s wonderful that you have grown in confidence. It sounds like you are well on your way towards reaching a point of self-acceptance, with the help of your accepting and supportive boyfriend.

Hopefully your story will help to inspire others to face their challenges with their body-image and to overcome those challenges.

Clare xo

Large labia minora and the Fremont Solstice Parade

Dear Clare,

Please excuse the bad English as I am German.

First I want to thank you for your work. This blog is great and helped me so much.

It should be result number 1 on google when you search for “labi..” and not labiaplasty!

I just saw something about the “Fremont solstice parade” these days. I googled it and I was really surprised! Most of the women joining the parade had large labia minora and they were so confident to walk nude trough a city!

Why do I struggle so often with my lips? It seemed to be so normal to have outies…

I think a big problem is that we compared our self to often to these artificial girls from porn or advertisement with giant silicon boobs, big blow job lips and tiny designer pussies!

It´s normal to be normal and not to underwent surgery!

Thank you for your submission. I’m so happy to hear that the Labia Project has helped you with your body-image issues.

I did not know about the Fremont solstice parade before receiving your submission I looked it up, and for those who don’t know, it is a Mardi Gras-type event organised by the Fremont Arts Council in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle, Washington. According to the FAC website, the parade includes cyclists who do not wear any clothes and who have body-paint and costumes. The website says:

The Parade is not a nudist event, it is an Art event that recognizes the human body as a canvas and the joy of riding as a part of our community’s creative expression.

You are absolutely correct that it is normal to have outie labia. It is equally normal to have innie labia. There is a huge range of labia types that are within “normal” range, and mainstream porn is usually not representative of what is “normal”.

Clare xo

Thank You

My partner alerted me to your site. We have been together for almost 10 yrs. Although we’ve enjoyed a very warm and supportive relationship, I know my partner remains very self-conscious about her vulva. This site has empowered her and provided peace of mind. As a cis-gendered bisexual male, my voice isn’t very relevant, but I wanted to say thank you on behalf of my (shy) partner and also to say thank you on our behalf of her for to the brave and beautiful people who have shared their experiences and anxieties. There is a toxic culture of body-negativity in cismale culture and I know of no such supportive resource for male presenting persons. Thank you all from us both for your courage and support.

I generally don’t post male submissions on the site, but I have made an exception with your submission.

I’m so happy to hear that the Labia Project has been able to help your partner and has provided her with some comfort. The women who post their stories and submissions on the site are indeed brave, and it is because of them that this resource has been able to grow and to help women to confront and address issues around self-esteem.

If your partner ever feels brave enough to share her story or to pictures on the Labia Project, that would be wonderful.

I am also not aware of a similar resource for male-presenting persons, and I agree that there is definitely a need for one out there!

Clare xo

Struggled with deep insecurities about my labia

deep insecurities about my labia fleshy labia minora standing labia picture

I have struggled with very deep insecurities about my labia for years. For a long time I have thought I was deformed. Sex has become something I push away, because I don’t want my husband anywhere near my labia, which has caused a lot of tension in my marriage. Even after 12 years of being together, and constant reassurances from him that he loves me just the way I am, I am incredibly self conscious and it started taking its toll on us. I began talking to a therapist, and she encouraged me to look at myself every day in a mirror, which has began to help, which I saw another woman on here who said it has also helped her. I also came across your blog and it was a huge relief to see women who are confident and proud, and who look similar to me. While I am still working on accepting the look of my labia, I want to thank you for creating something like this, because it is not a well talked about subject. My husband encouraged me to post after I showed him the site, so I am sending my submission as a way to help get myself past the panic I feel and as a step towards accepting myself exactly as I am. And who knows, maybe I can help someone who is finding themselves on a similar journey!

Thank you for sharing your story and your lovely pictures.

I’m very proud of you for taking the crucial step of talking to a therapist. When issues like this remain bottled in, they tend to build up and fester, and they can end up affecting many areas of life including self-confidence and sexual wellbeing.

Your husband sounds like a great guy, and you are fortunate to have a supportive and understanding partner. It’s also great to get positive feedback about the Labia Project and the tips on the site for becoming comfortable with your vulva.

Reaching a point of self-acceptance is a journey and it is not something that will happen overnight. It sounds like you have made big strides on that journey, and hopefully your story will help to inspire others who are experiencing similar battles.

Clare xo

Becoming Sexually Conscious: Explore Your Desire

“…[T]he sexual norms we inherit bear little resemblance to what people actually do. I think it would be great if everyone told the truth—for one moment—about their actual sexual practices and relationships, affairs, and arrangements, fantasies and desires. The diversity would amaze us all.” Staci Haines, “Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma.”

In my workshop on Empowered Sexuality for Women, I give my class participants a list of sexual activities to begin to explore the edges of their desires. A list is a great—and very safe way—to begin to explore desire. And it is just a starting point. Below, I’ll share additional ideas for moving beyond the list to explore sexual desire further.

Exploring the edges of sexual desire can be scary—evoking all sorts of complex feelings, especially if sex has involved abuse or shame. But when we are in charge of this exploration, we’re in the driver’s seat—meaning, we are fully at choice. As such, we can quit if something doesn’t feel right, or we can choose to continue and allow the full range of feelings we experience. As long as we are not re-experiencing shame as we explore, finding out what turns us on can be richly pleasurable and highly empowering.

Something we must have before we explore is a solid grounding in self-acceptance, particularly of our bodies and our sexuality. These days, so many women struggle with body image because we live in a culture that trains women that their value comes from being pleasing to others—and the range of what culture defines as pleasing is shockingly narrow, defined by the fashion and porn industries. Thus, it can be hard for a woman to feel excited about exploring desire and turn-ons, if she does not feel as if she fits culture’s image of what’s pleasing. What can help a woman break free of culturally imposed limitations is accepting that beauty comes in all sizes, shapes and colors, and that includes breasts and genitals. If you struggle with accepting that your labia is perfect as it is, look through the Labia Library and take in the range of sizes, colors, and shapes of labia. You’ll be amazed—and hopefully will recognize how absurd it is to measure yourself against the unreality of fashion and porn, both of which promote the most narrow vision possible of “beauty.”

The following are three additional ways I have encouraged client and class participants to explore the realm of their desires:

First, I encourage people to ask friends what turns them on. The truth is, a lot of people are relieved to talk about sex once someone else raises the subject. You both might learn something—and open your friendship in a way that fosters greater connection. From attending workshops through The Human Awareness Institute, I’ve developed a group of friends who are comfortable talking about sex. It is incredible—normalizing—positive—and really fun to be able to talk openly with friends about something we usually keep hidden.

Second, I encourage people–especially women–to read erotica. Many women find erotica to be a fabulous way to stoke desire and to evoke the imagination, a powerful source of desire for women. A few good starters include three annual series: Best Women’s Erotica, Best American Erotica and Best Lesbian Erotica. The website, is also a good site, with offerings far beyond erotica.

Finally, some erotic DVDs can be both instructive and a turn-on. In particular, the Alexander Institute produces DVDs that are both erotic and educational. The videos are explicit—and—are far more satisfying than pornography, especially for women. Specific DVDs I can recommend include:

  • The Modern Kama Sutra, An Erotic Workshop for Lovers
    • Vol. I: Sensual Secrets to Amazing Sex
    • Vol. II: Pleasuring Her First
    • Vol. III: Sexual Positions for Great Sex
  • Woman to Woman Erotic Touch for Great Sex
  • The Art of Advanced Oral Sex
  • Advanced Sex Toys for Great Sex

Watched alone or with a partner, erotic videos can be a great way to open your desire and spice up your sex life!

Knowing what turns us on doesn’t mean we have to do everything that sparks our desire—that’s an entirely different conversation. But knowing allows us to choose—and to normalize feeling turned on. For anyone who has experienced shame around pleasure as a result of sex abuse, religious or family messaging, allowing desire without shame is fabulous. Happy explorations!

Jane Steckbeck, Clinical Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach

Big Labia Minora

big labia minoraI always hated my big labia minora, but I realized guys don’t care. I have noticed they care more about having bigger boobs or a bigger butt, but that’s a different story. I think it’s silly I even had the insecurities I had about my vagina. Also, guys feel the same way about their penises being too big or too small/circumcised vs uncircumcised.

Thank you for your lovely submission 🙂

You are 100% correct that generally, guys don’t care if you have outie or innie labia, or if your labia minora are more or less prominent. Many womens’ insecurities around this, cause them to hold back on allowing themselves to enjoy their sexual experiences.

Clare xo