Was ashamed of my Labia

ashamed of my labiaI’m 21 years old and I’ve always felt disgusting, different, not worthy and generally ashamed of my labia. Knowing I’m not alone, and that my labia is in fact completely normal and beautiful in its own way, makes me feel secure with myself. I’ve learned to embrace myself and it’s been awesome. EVERY LABIA IS UNIQUE AND BEAUTIFUL. I hope this helps at least one person out there struggling like I had for many years.

Thank you for your lovely submission – it’s submissions like yours that make the Labia Project stronger. And you’re absolutely correct… you labia are perfectly normal and beautiful in their uniqueness.

Clare xo

I have a very large labia

Hi, I have a very large labia. To the point that I worry it will show an outline in bikinis when around the pool or in hot tubs. I’m 18 and lost my virginity at 17. A few days later the boy I slept with told me he was no longer interested and told all his friends I was “bad in bed”. When he saw my area down there he did stare but didn’t say anything… I felt he wasn’t interested anymore and said what he did because of the way it looks and now I’m so much more self-conscious about the size of my Labia. To the point I’m considering surgery now that I’m 18. I don’t mind the way it looks but I do worry about the way that other people would react.

I’m sorry that your first sexual experience turned out to be negative. The guy clearly has no respect for you, and he deeply violated your privacy by talking to his friends about it.

A woman’s first sexual experience can often influence the way she feels about sex for the rest of her life. Please realize that the guy was an immature idiot who shouldn’t be given the power to influence your self-image and sexual enjoyment.

This was one bad experience. There are many good guys out there who will love and embrace you as you are, and who will count themselves fortunate to have the chance to be intimate with you.

The most important first step is for you to embrace and accept your body as it is. Looking for acceptance and affirmation from others before you have found it in yourself, can lead to serious self-image issues and is unhealthy and dangerous.

You are unique and beautiful. Once you realize that you will feel happier and more fulfilled, and no idiot guy will be able to damage your self-image through insensitive comments.

Clare xo

I Appreciate my Body Parts

appreciate my body partsThank you for your project and for spreading body positivity! When I was younger I used to think I had an ugly body, especially my labia minora (darker color) and my pointy breasts. Now I am happy and appreciate my body parts (all of them). I just want to tell other women to love our bodies the way they are cause we are all beautiful.

Thank you for your words of encouragement regarding the project, and for sharing your story and lovely picture!

Clare xo

To all the girls with labia shame – it gets better

To all the girls who feel labia shame or ashamed of the way their vulva looks, I was like you before. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my large labia minora. But now I love my vulva. When I was younger, I used to visit blogs like this to try to boost my confidence. I promised myself I’d get labiaplasty surgery once I turned 18. I went to camp and saw my friends vulvas and I couldn’t understand why mine didn’t look like theirs. I was terrified that a boy would see mine and be repulsed because it didn’t look like many porn vaginas at that time. When I was 16, I had my first serious boyfriend and was extremely nervous about what he would think of my body. I dreaded the first time we had oral sex. To my surprise, he always complimented my vulva and body. It built my confidence, helped me overcome my labia shame and made me realize that all vulvas truly are different and beautiful! I’m 24 now and have been intimate with 30+ people — both women and men. I am extremely sex positive and also teach sex education. I can tell you with complete honesty, that nobody ever insulted or made a rude comment about my labia. In fact, I was often complimented! When I was younger I used to tell myself that if someone is seeing my vagina they’ll consider themselves lucky and not judge the appearance. Honestly, this idea turned to be true lol! I’ve seen my fair share of vulvas and penises and they are all different and wonderful! My best friend and I have looked closely at each other’s vulvas in a platonic way. She has very small labia and a clitoris that can barely be seen, while mine is prominent! We like different types of vibrators and orgasm from different types of clitoral stimulation. Despite these differences, we have both had happy and healthy sex lives. I look back at my teens and feel silly for ever wanting labiaplasty. The before and after photos I used to yearn for now make my stomach turn. Yes, there may be medical reasons and a person’s choice for surgery is their own and I respect that — but it was not the path for me. I am so thankful for the body I have, I am healthy and have wonderful orgasms and feel comfortable exploring my body. I stumbled across this blog and wanted to share my story. I see a lot of posts that remind me of where my mind was many years ago. The appearance of your vulva won’t impact your sex life or scare anyone away. What is more important is your comfort, consent, safety, and communication. You’re all beautiful, remember that 🙂

What a wonderful message! Thank you for sharing 🙂

Clare xo

I have an extra labia

I have an extra labia labia curlsHi Clare, I’m a 19 year old college student and still a virgin and feel ashamed of that. I know that’s bad and not normal. I feel this way because my friends have all had sex and I feel I should be like them. But I’m not normal because of how my vagina looks and is shaped. I’m still a virgin because I hate my vagina and I know a guy will hate it. I know I don’t have a normal vagina. I know it’s ugly because I have an extra labia I think. It curls as opposed to my regular labia. It makes my vagina visually unappealing to me so I feel it will be to another. I did a Google search looking for other women like me and didn’t see one resembling mine but your site came up in the search with a post. I read that post and others and now I’m sending pics for review and hope you don’t mind. I also hope you see something I don’t see in myself.

Thank you for being brave enough to open up about your concerns.

What I see is a totally normal, healthy vulva. The “extra” labia that you are referring to is a fold of your labia minora, and there is nothing visually unappealing about it. The reason you didn’t see a vulva resembling yours is that no two vulvas are alike, and each one is unique. Find comfort in that fact, rather than trying to find comfort in finding a picture of someone who looks identical to you down there.

You should not rush into having sex until you have overcome some of the insecurities with your body, otherwise your first sexual experience is likely to be stressful and unpleasant. Rather take the time for self-exploration first. You should try the technique described in this post which many women have found helpful.

Clare xo

My vagina looks so weird

My vagina looks so weird and I am almost disgusted by it. I am 15 and I’ve never had sex before, and I am scared that guys will be turned off by it or mock me. I know I should be confident about it but nowadays, standards are so high and if you aren’t like everybody else you are being judged. I want to get surgery but it’s so expensive and seems scary. I can’t talk about this with my mom because she’d kill me if she knew I was preoccupied by how my vagina looks. I don’t know what to do I feel so disgusting and self conscious.

Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

The first thing I need you say is that there is nothing wrong with being different, and in fact, it is a beautiful thing. Your fingerprints are unique to you, and nobody else in the world has identical fingerprints to yours. The same goes for your vulva. No two vulvas are alike, and each one is different and unique.

The second thing I need to say is that you are not alone in feeling these insecurities. This website exists because of the millions of women out there who experience or who have overcome issues regarding the appearance of their vulvas. Many women who were convinced that surgery was the only solution, have managed to find a solution from within, and have managed to accept and embrace their uniqueness.  Some of their stories are among the submissions on this blog.

You are at an age where it is normal to go through social pressures about how you look and about being accepted.  Please don’t allow it to overtake your life and become an obsession. You should be enjoying discovering yourself in your transition to adulthood, and not worrying about judgment about things that you were born with and can’t change.

I wish you all the best on your journey <3

Clare xo

Thank you

Hi Clare, not sure if this email is still active due to the tumblr terms of use changing and banning all nude content on there but I had to write you just Incase it is still used by you and say thank you. I wrote you months back talking about wanting to tell my boyfriend about my “secret” I was hiding. I was insecure about the size of my labia and was good at hiding it from him but I also told you it was ruining our relationship keeping it a secret. One day I kind of just closed my eyes and let him feel them on his own, to my surprise he was very comforting and gentle about it. He told me all vaginas are different and he’s experienced all different kinds and it didn’t affect how he felt about me. He told me he loved them because they’re apart of me and I even let him go down on me. Might be tmi but I really felt my mind accept my body and the way it looks and it was so refreshing. I had spent 19 years hiding them and hating myself. He reassures me every day he loves them and when I brought up surgery he actually got upset saying I couldn’t change myself because it’s not worth the risk of losing feeling when my vagina is completely normal. I feel so secure and so loved. I’ve followed your blog since I was 16. It helped me a ton and made me realize I was not alone. I just want to thank you and all of the ladies who shared their stories. People like you are gems and rare to find. I hope all the ladies who have hated their genitals find peace within and accept theirselves because once I did it was amazing. Even if my boyfriend and I were to break up I wouldn’t hide myself anymore and if I came across somebody that didn’t like them I’d move on and forget them.

It’s lovely to hear from you again 🙂

What is even more wonderful is to hear that you have made such amazing progress in accepting and embracing your body in all its uniqueness and glory – I love your positive attitude and outlook on life!

The Labia Project blog is built on the stories of women who share their insecurities and their triumphs over their insecurities. They are the ones who deserve to be acknowledged and thanked – not me. I give of my time to this cause and keep the blog going, but the true heroines are the brave submitters!

Clare xo

Love yourself – our vaginas are beautiful

love yourselfI have always wanted to make a submission. I have been visiting this page on and off since I was 16 years old. I am now 20. I’m glad this place exists for me and other people who have/are struggling to accept this part of themselves. It’s an amazing source of body positivity. I just wanted to say that I love sex. I have never had any complaints about the appearence of my vagina, but I have had compliments. It can be really hard showing a part of your body that looks a way that society outwardly associated with shame. But fuck what people say on social media and to each other on other forms of networking and fuck what people say as immature children. I’ve never had a guy not enjoy having sex with me. I love this part of me and I will not let anyone tell me that I shouldn’t because of what 11 year olds on reddit think about it. You only have one life. You only have one body. There is only one you. Love all of it. Love yourself people, please. Our vaginas are beautiful. If someone is lucky enough to get you naked don’t be silly enough to think they’re gunna pass up a chance to be with you because you don’t look like a pornstar in your pants. That’s crazy thinking. Also, if someone loves you they will love ALL parts of you. Only very inexperienced men are unaware that many women have vaginas like this. So again, just love yourself, please. Life is too short not to.

Thank you for your lovely submission – I absolutely love your positive attitude about your body. Hopefully it will rub off on other women who need a dose of positivity and a reality check to give them some perspective!

Clare xo

What is labia puffing and is labia puffing safe?

labia puffingIt seems that there are new products and procedures on the market every day which are aimed at profiting from womens’ insecurities with their vulvas (or helping them to address their insecurities, depending on how you see things). The latest craze is called labia puffing. So what exactly what is labia puffing, and is labia puffing safe? I did some research to learn more about what it involves. Here’s what I managed to find out…

Labia puffing is a non-surgical treatment which involves injecting fat (from another part of the body), or dermal fillers, into the labia. The treatment is done to boost volume or remove wrinkles. Think of it as a botox treatment for the labia.

The procedure takes around half an hour. Many women are undergoing it as an alternative to surgical measures such as labiaplasty surgery, as it is less expensive and is perceived to be less invasive.

If a woman’s own fat is being used for the injection, this is usually taken from the abdomen or thigh area.

Given that labia puffing is a very new treatment, very little is known about its potential risks or adverse long-term effects on the body. For instance, there is limited information on whether it can lead to a loss of sensitivity in the nerve endings in the long-term. For this reason, my advice would be to wait until more is known about the procedure before taking the leap and going through with it.

There’s a market for everything

there's a market for everythingFrom early age I love sex and have had a lot of partners from my 17th. Im 32 now, when getting older I notice the guys reacting different as well. I assume mostly young guys can be put off by labia that dont look like the average porn pussy. As men grow older they seem to appreciate the feeling more and the uniqueness of womens bodies. I even got compliments and one ex really loved my lips.. I think it can be really sensual or explicit for guys. There’s a market for everything. For sex I dont mind, the feeling is most important and I know for great sex the shape doesnt matter.. who is looking at your lips when making love? Im still ashamed though to walk in a nude beach or sauna. Like my body otherwise and I keep it in shape, just those parts you cant change with exercise. If only they were cut off I wouldnt be ashamed. Its just weird hanging there like a micropenis. Maybe I should grow a bush so it s less visible. Or would it be more gross? Haha. I dont have the money for surgery but even if I had I dont think if I would do it. A lot of money if needed to help people in worse circumstances. Think of how much good you could do with this amount of money! My strategy is trying to accept and just make a bit of fun of it. Make a bit of fun of yourself really helps you to have a lighter attitude. And one more thing. Many of our opinions are based on societies standards and based on comparison with others. This is functional for social animals like us. But if you were alone or in some tribe. Who would care? So is it what you really think deep down or is it what the world says? Also if everyone would have big labia it would be normal and desirable? Just be proud of your uniqueness!

Thank you for sharing your story and lovely picture.

It’s clear that although you still struggle with your body image at times, you have made progress in accepting your body in all its uniqueness and glory. It does help to have a lighter attitude with these things and not to agonize over things that are outside of your control.

Society places unreasonable expectations on women when it comes to beauty, and the media and advertising industry are major culprits in spreading misconceptions about what is attractive and what women should aspire to.

Because of this, most of us wish we had less cellulite,  straigher or curlier hair, lighter or more tanned and skin, bigger, perkier or smaller breasts – and the list goes on… There are more than enough things to agonize about, and the labia should not have to form part of that long list of things.

You are unique. Your unique traits are what makes you, you. There is beauty in uniqueness. Embrace it.

Clare xo