The man involved can make all the difference… I’m 58 years old, have been self-conscious about my vulva and labia for my entire adult life… until 2 years ago when I took a lover, and due to past history with this lovely man (not a sexual history, BTW), I decided to tell him about my insecurities, and why I wanted the lights off, all the time. We talked frankly, he told me that I was normal (why does this man know more about me, than me?), pointed me to The Labia Project (again, why was I so uninformed), and in fairly short order, my comfort zone expanded in a way I’d never realized was possible. Neither of my other long-term lovers (yeah, not much experience here), ever said anything and I enjoyed in the dark oral sex with both, but I never, ever wanted the lights on… I’m totally OK with it now, thanks to one frank, informed and generous man.
Thank you for sharing – it’s always wonderful to hear stories like yours which prove that it is possible to achieve self-acceptance and to overcome insecurities and body issues at any age and stage in life 🙂