Self conscious and confused

self consciousHello, I have always been a bit self conscious about all areas of my body. I consider myself healthy and athletic; however, I still struggle with my body image and in particular my very large labia. The first time my mom noticed my labia was different (as a young child) she was kind of surprised. She said they were like a butterfly. That was the first instance I knew I was different – since I was a kid and hadn’t seen any other labia. It was only until a friend mentioned “flabby lips” recently that I thought my labia were a problem. Yes, from time to time they cause physical discomfort because of their size…but I didn’t realize they were ugly. My friend is an estetocian and said she’s seen a lot of pussy and feels sorry with women that have “beef curtains”. She has never seen my labia, but she showed me pictures on the internet of what she meant and I instantly knew my labia fit in that category. That’s when I really started to become uncomfortable with my labia. Fortunately, I have never been with a partner (I’ve had 10 different partners and am 25) who has negatively mentioned my labia. But I have been with a man who, after going down on me, went limp. It almost broke my heart. He apologized and told me how beautiful I was, which made it hurt even more because I know what he’s honestly thinking. My current boyfriend is amazing. He thinks I’m gorgeous from head to toe and tells me that everyday. He enjoys going down on me and tells me he fantasizes about my vagina. I really want to talk to him about how I feel about my labia, but I’m too embarrassed to even bring it up. I’ve thought about labiaplasty a lot. I feel like it would solve my insecurities. I would feel more confident naked. Even with panties on, you can see them hang. It’s very embarrassing. You can even see them through tight pants, which is why I usually wear loose shorts to the gym. Lastly, I work in an industry that is VERY male dominated (female to make ratio in my class was 1:7). Being around males all the time, I realize their topic of interest is women. I can tell the type of women they like. Big boobs, small waist and big butt. It also makes me feel self conscious about my small breasts…I have also considered breast augmentation. Would these surgeries not help me feel more confident and less embarrassed?

Thank you for getting in touch. What I can tell you is that you are not alone in having the insecurities that you describe – if you look around this site you will see that many women have been in the same place as you, feeling self conscious and experiencing pressure regarding society’s unrealistic expectations regarding how a woman’s body should look.

I am glad to hear that your current boyfriend is so supportive and mature. He sounds like a keeper!

With regard to the question of surgery, I suggest that you watch the labiaplasty video here to get some insights regarding this topic.

Clare xoxo

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